i want you boys in ruston. if you go mormon on me before we squeeze the juice agian, i might have to fly down and deliver a swift kick in the pantaloons.
i love to see someone truly happy. some people do actually get what they deserve.
the breakfast booth once again spills into the textbox. i wish i had one of those trucks and lift kits that come with the free john deer hat. i wish i was a total non-thinking drunk who did exactly what carson daily said, sometimes even borrowing trends from the black community, you know, just to mix it up. let's all try to be really different, then all end up the same, and all be happy.
i love that my resume will not include my preference between fitch or hollister. let's just all be mediocre and not so damn individual. emo this.

posted by paul @ 12:23 AM

all my posts want to be about the same thing. i've got most of me figured out, but i really hate not having a girl. and that's all.
today was glorious, missiles showed up at random throughout my travels, i purchased 2 souvenirs from the coincidence, i love it when life picks a theme.
we had our first band "meeting" since the party, two more songs, ross is a madman.
"i won't fight," the only vocals part i have in my band, and i say it over and over, and that, to me, is funny, beacause it's my three words, it's me.
the best thing about the phrase "i love you" is where the ", too" goes. it's like reese's in maggie's fudge, the exponent. seriously, the best four words in the language, that's them. i'm so scattered, somebody please take me home.

posted by paul @ 11:57 PM

if you had told me a year ago that i would be getting paid good money to play the drums my granddad helped me buy i would have laughed at you. mostly because you would have said it in a retarded way, when you pull that sarcastic grimace like none of us will ever amount to anything.
it is possible to make eveyone happy, just not all the time, and that's groovy as long as you're making and not everyone. even then, kg's piss-bag lives off the scraps.
and then i broke my zippo, making it uncool to carry around, because without the opening click, a zippo can only make the smoker happy, it can't make the smoker love you.
"in the band" is the loneliest place to be, returning knowing smiles from 20 feet away and packing up after and handful of words to anyone. i can be alone, mr homeschool rides again, i hate it when those 4 years justify themselves.

posted by paul @ 12:00 AM

i don't like where this is going. i am not assertive, i don't push. i get run over. either i will be some undiscovered rock drummer in an underappreciated rock band or some low-level mech engie working on stuff that will never have my name on it. i will be pushed out of the way by every damn self-serving butt-kissing happy jack who's out for number one, and his cute little entourage of 2-11. we're not going anywhere but straight to hell in a handbasket, and i'm not gonna push to be first in line. i won't, and i'm not sorry about it, and my suit was discount, it is not survivng the blast. life is too short, but it always seems longer at 3 AM, i've been here before, i deserve a little more. stuck in a burned out chevy on thunder road listening to roy orbison singing for the lonely.

posted by paul @ 2:52 AM

ha! i got my student number ran by the tech police cheif. what fun.
there was this one time that we went to an old friend's house to eat crawfish, and they were ok, but the guy didn't know how to purge them right, so every other one had the crap still in it. it was ok, but kinda gross. dad kept saying, "there isn't a thing wrong with these crawfish," and, "these crawfish aren't bad," and, "these crawfish are actually pretty good." and on and on and on. it was unnerving. we all knew the crawfish sucked, and we all ignored it because they're hard to cook and the family is super nice and they're our friends and we like 'em. when he kept saying what we all knew we should have been saying, and saying it defensively, he made it obvious he was being less than honest. or at least his motives were called into question.
we get hurt, we enjoy each other's company, we'll survive.
life is for living, i don't want to live it alone.
just a thought i had, not sure if it's driftwood or sandbag.

posted by paul @ 11:39 PM

blog me tender
glad things always change, new faces, new names to forget, and it gets harder to sit alone in the cafe. SS? might be broken up, i can't find my band, that ain't good. i will never read into things anymore. i will be oblivious, then get one of my friends to wake me up if the oblivion has gone on long enough. you can't be let down if you never get up. the mic was closed, mike was open, we agreed, we like that we are unhappy sometimes. it ain't no good think you're the only dissenting opinion, it kicks aya when you find another person who sees through the bullsh, butter is way better than margarine.

posted by paul @ 2:39 PM

i don't know. it's like you wonder exactly what time "that's life" is an appropriate exclamation. it's so rare that we can pin it down, classify, and normalize this mess that's spinning us, how can we possibly say that something is characteristic of this whirlwind? whatever, you got skin on your legs. it's just monotonous enough to piss you off, but, as wallace stevens says, "i cannot spin the world quite round." i guess i've been thinking too much lately, it always happens when other people are busy and you really don't have much to do. time always pulls slower and little things always bring more baggage. that's why everyone goes out for rebound girlfriends, it sucks that she dumped you, but it really sucks that you have to sit at home playing n64 on a saturday night trying not to think about her. dating is not the only mutual validation of self worth, apparently, it's all over the place, i just never realized where it was. don't get me wrong, i want to be there for a girl, be her guy, tell her she's beautiful, buy her flowers and all that, but for another person to be your reason for existence when you've known them less than an eighth of your life, just seems a little bizarre. whatever happened to getting your shat together as an individual before trying to find someone else to fill you up. and it's another person who's using you for the same thing you're using them for, ironically. the world is wrong, we have to live in it, the least we can do is take time, stop, think. stop. think.
think.

posted by paul @ 10:52 PM