If growing up has anything to do with these bad news phonecalls about car crash and disaster, then I don't want to grow up. My little sib is gone. I'm gonna miss the hell out of that boy.

posted by paul @ 2:00 PM

Breaking the drought.

posted by paul @ 1:34 PM

Thoughts from the porch sofa:

I've been here the past two hours. Reading is more active than laying here listening to Built to Spill. It feels so much more productive.

The past 70 hours have been college. My friends and I produced one of the greatest shows ever on Tech's campus, foursqare was re-done, the porch was broken-down upon, a trampoline was harvested, things did not go without saying, and a smoothie wench was appreciated.

I need to continue to grow in practical acts of concern.

posted by paul @ 5:11 PM

We'll email you when your tickets are printed and about to be shipped. You purchased 3 tickets to:

Beck
Nokia Theatre At Grand Prairie, Grand Prairie, TX

Wednesday June 21, 2006 8:00 pm

Seat location: section PIT
Total Charge: $152.73

I'm going to re-post emails every day, I guess. Tonight is Stumps the Clown, tomorrow is Ben Folds, Saturday is Porterdavis. How could any weekend ever get any better.

I like cold beverages. And when friends come to visit.

posted by paul @ 2:17 PM

Dear Paul,

Thank you for your interest in our firm. I received your letter this morning and am sorry to tell you that the summer mechanical intern position with our firm for this summer has recently been filled. I appreciate your inquiry and wish you the best in pursuit of a summer job and career in Mechanical Engineering.

This is why you don't put things off. This was my ace in the hole. This was my safety net.

Am I so calloused as to not be devastated by this? This is unreal, I'm sitting on my porch surrounded by candles with Pedro the Lion soothing the PA and I just don't feel it. This is unbelievable. This is bad.

posted by paul @ 8:35 PM

Living with people successfully is all about slack. When you start pointing out what other people aren't doing, they start digging things up to point out that you aren't doing and walking around the house all we're doing is cataloging the other housemates' shortcomings. That's just no way to live.

I wonder sometimes if Union Board could possibly take up any more of my time. Then I think I'm going to run for president. Tomorrow I get to go talk to Tommy's Tees about shirt designs. It feels like a cop-out to outsource the artwork of my flagship event, but I guess this is me learning how to make sacrifices. I am one arrogant bastid.

I am enjoying this Elliot Smith self-titled vinyl, tonight. I do have that going for me.

posted by paul @ 11:49 PM

I just applied to my dream job. IKEA, if you're listening, please hire me.

It's been a great weekend, I don't know where to start, so I guess that I won't. Except that I miss being in a band. The Big Positive was everything I hoped they would be, I'm stoked for them. Some of us need to be famous, those guys need to be famous.

It's scary that the past 21 years have been tragedy-free. I don't like to think about it, I don't want to worry about what it's going to be that breaks this excellent silence.

All promises should be as easy to keep as "I won't get married until I graduate."

posted by paul @ 11:33 AM

A personal statement:

I am currently listening to Panic! At the Disco as a mosquito flies around my sunburned arms. Color me annoyed. Also, there is a wicked taste in the back of my throat that I can't seem to shake. I wish that producing successful events had lost its buzz, but tonight was another smooth night and another great feeling. I need a few signs. Get me to the house, it's better to get something when you need it, and hot dang do I need to get home.

This weekend was fantastic, life is beautiful.

posted by paul @ 1:23 AM

I wish Tech web hosting would get itself together.

Before you go to sleep, you need to make a pile of sticks and twigs next to the fire pit.

I have this strange surrounding feeling that everything is going to be alright. I don't know when it started, and I'm not sure why, but I absolutely love it. There's a twenty foot Ben Folds erection in the plaza that overpowers math grades.

Some days I want to be a photographer, it must be possible to live off of such mediocrity.

posted by paul @ 12:10 AM

Spread it around, but don't spread it too thin.

It's good to walk and talk about what's changed the last year. Progress is more apparent with a little time. I hope that I never do the sort of things that the ones I care about speak of in low tones on barstools. You don't want to waste your life, now, darlin.

Riding bikes with ties and backpacks is as close to godly as this little elder will ever be.

I'm going to pack, tomorrow is Winding Stair, and we could not be more pumped, come what may. She's going to Graceland.

posted by paul @ 12:24 AM

Tonight is crunch time. It's a math test on the way, and boy howdy do I need to make an A in that class to keep my scholarshipping going on. It's easy to take things for granted when you didn't really do anything to earn them, this is such a situation.

I listened to the Ben Folds Power 2Hours tonight and had a smoothie. I feel ready to produce a show and man oh man is it going to be a good one.

Time is the number one cause of misunderstanding, and expectations, of disappointment.

Where I want to be.

posted by paul @ 8:19 PM

It's a tough system that we've set up here. While I know that single is where I need to be right now, I expect effort from people when there is no contract requiring it. I know some quality cats, and I love to be with them, but there's more to life than being appreciated. It's going to be so nice to have a teammate.

The show tonight went really well. I've stopped seeing events as how many people are there and started seeing them as how many people are enjoying themselves. That may be a cop-out, but I got tired of being disappointed, so I changed my perspective. Maybe I should do that in some other areas, too.

I came across some huge burn piles tonight and pulled over and smelled and watched them for a while. It smelled like winter, and the wind felt like winter. And some guy got his delivery truck stuck in some hole but I didn't stop to help him. I also didn't wreck into him, so I'm not as bad a guy as I could have been.

Hey I remember when this happened

posted by paul @ 12:22 AM

How sweet it is to be loved by James Taylor. I love that Gorilla sends me to the snaking mountain roads of south Mexico in our overloaded Chevy Venture. That was a serious 50 hours, went through most of the Rolling Stones discography, a ton of James Taylor, and Cash's Ring of Fire about twenty times.

It's good to space things out. It's good to need. I'd rather invite you over than tell you to go home. And I'd rather be surfing right now than just about anything in the world. Except for climbing, and that's coming up soon. I'll have to get a few days of surfing into the summer roadtrip. A summer roadtrip with James Taylor riding shottie.

Ben Folds tickets failed to go on sale today. The good news is that a ton of people were asking about it, we'll see what happens Wednesday. I am tired of getting my posters taken down, but I'm glad people like them, so I guess it's a trade.

Also, Porterdavis is playing Ruston the night after Ben Folds, so perhaps the travelling crew will hang around and I'll get to see some friends instead of working all day to produce a show and seeing the boys for a few minutes before they head back to Texas.

I killed my purchasing presentation. Learning confidence is one of the greatest things to happen to my attitude.

From last summer's Corpus Surf Suicide, look at those sweet rental boards. Puerto didn't know much about roads, but they had it together when it came to quality rental boards on the cheap. And taxis.

posted by paul @ 4:26 PM

Don't burn incense in the flow of a fan, it will make a mess.

It's finally beautiful outside. I do believe that I'm going to go read on the porch.

Porterdavis is playing Dallas tonight, and there are rumors that they're coming through later this month. This photo is from when we walked a few million blocks in Chattanooga only to be turned away because we weren't 21. Sad day, and long walk.

How about a photo for every post? That would make things more interesting and force me to get out and take more. Yeah, that's what we'll do.

posted by paul @ 4:04 PM

This morning I found myself projecting my hopes onto another unsuspecting character in my life's story. This morning, I tried to wish someone into the person that I'd hoped they would be. This morning I mowed Johnny's yard, he's 85. frail, and likes to talk. All I ever wanted from this wee man was for him to talk with a whistle, and I'm almost certain that I heard it, though none of my coworkers can back-up the story. If, in fact, I did edit this morning's page in my biography to force a speech impediment on Johnny, I think I'm ok with that. I have written what I have written.

Where is my stationary? It is unacceptable to return a book without a note. Hell, I just need to write more notes in general, it's such a grown up thing to do. Even if it's the same stationary mom ordered for me when I was in middle school. That's pretty absurd, maybe I should just get some of my own.

I wish that I had been writing these all my life, it's good to know when things happened. Like that time my paycheck from the telemarketing center bounced. And the time Ross introduced me to G. Love and I put quotes in every entry for a week. Or that time I took myself too seriously.

Getting in shape(ish) is my new hobby, I've gotten pretty gutsy lately.

posted by paul @ 2:18 PM