My grandmother is old. She's hilarious, she ran her own business until she was eighty. Now she's pushing ninety, and she's still pushing. Her new hearing aid works, it's number five or six, but this one has the keys to the kingdom. Which is good, because I mumble.

We were sitting on the backporch after watering her massive backyard of gardens and pots and gardens and pots, and she's talking about the car, her Buick Roadmaster. The thing is a tank, I feel like a goof driving it, it handles like a cement truck. She says
"I just don't understand why they want me to stop driving!"
"I do, Gran, you might get in a wreck, driving is serious business."
"But I'm good at it."
"Maybe so."
"Everyone else on the road has the same chance of wrecking as I do."
"But that's because you might hit them."

People steal her lilies. How hilarious is that. The crazy thing is, you would never notice, there's just so many of them. Maybe that's when you know you're a badass, when you've arrived.

I want to be busy when I'm older. I saw a flyer for a friend of ours that travels around as a motivational speaker. Rock on, retired guy. Rock the hell on.

And letters aren't worth anything if they never come back. The whole idea is for there to be an exchange, and without the return trip, I might as well be sending fanmail to Bill Nye. Disappointment of the summer, the '06 letter-writing campaign.

Send me your address and we'll make something happen, I still have a few sheets of stamps and some sweet envelopes I got from the Target. Some dreams are salvageable, eh?

posted by paul @ 11:30 PM

There are alot of fish in this sea.

There's been too much relationship nonsense going on lately. The whole prioritizing thing from two years ago came back with a bullet. Who knows, I get too involved with this stuff, I expect too much from people.

It's tough not to see yourself as defective when the same things keep happening.

posted by paul @ 9:08 PM

It's tough when you find yourself up to your old tricks.

I want to be an Industrial Designer.

Beck has the best live show of anyone I've ever seen or heard about.

posted by paul @ 11:15 AM

I am laying on a black leather sofa watching Everybody Loves Raymond. There is no furniture in Bessie, there is no electricity in Bessie 2.0, there is a futon in the UB office.

I would rather not miss you, even though it's better when we get back together and blah blah blah appreciate what you have blah blah blah I really just wish we were all in Ruston again.

Next year is going to be this same feeling, but they won't be coming back.

Maybe I should marry everyone.

I think I'm gonna go crash on a futon. I hope everything is sane in your wards, chunky in your soup, ant-free in your houses.

posted by paul @ 11:13 PM

The enjoyment of a project is directly proportional to the availability of the necessary tools and materials.

Letters are investments. Investing is for old people. Letters are for old people.

posted by paul @ 10:52 PM

You don't know what you got 'til you have to move it.

posted by paul @ 10:20 PM

This post, while fertile for sarcasm, does not contain any.

The SPD kicked ass last night. I was driving on Piermont, I think, headed to dumpster alley looking for moving boxes when I see the fuzz on my tail. I got the inspection sticker fixed Saturday, I was buckled, not speeding, everything's great. He hits his lights and I pull into some steakhouse parking lot. It is 8:30 on Thursday night. He pulls his car behind me to block me in, hits his spotlights, and requests that I join him at the rear of the vehicle.
Hey man I'm from the Police Department do you have any weapons on you
No sir
I pulled you over because you were driving like shit
Oh really I'm sorry
Yeah I saw you hit the center line like 3 times
Oh drag
Have you been drinking tonight
Yeah I had a sweet tea
Where are you coming from
Home I'm out looking for boxes
I'm gonna search your vehicle
OK
Well I don't smell any alchohol on you but I think you should drive more safely
Sure man sorry to waste your time

That's my first time to get pulled over, and I really didn't mind it, because if he's that quick on the draw, maybe he'll catch the assholes that keep killing the people I care about.

posted by paul @ 6:16 PM